Sunday, January 23, 2005
Feel like breaking?
I'm being stretched...spiritually. I feel like I could go in a million different directions. Could being the main word. There's so many things keeping me from going in all these different directions. All these ooportunties are being opened up to me and I feel so constrained...so young...so sheltered.
I have no idea what to do.
Someone told me last sumemr at camp that this would happen...that I would see a different side to Christianity...different side to Jesus...than what I've been exposed to...than what I've been used to.
How did he know?
How could I have been so stupid not see what he did? Not to believe him? I wonder if this has happened to anyone else.
That's the worst part- I feel like Jesus can't give me a definate answer right now...and that I can't talk to any of my friends because they just plain won't understand.
I feel like crying but I can't. I feel i'm on the edge of breaking...but I'm not. I'm being held together- which I'm sure is only by the mercy of God. I pray that he'll keep holding me together...one day at a time...because I know that's all I'll be able to take.
I have no idea what to do.
Someone told me last sumemr at camp that this would happen...that I would see a different side to Christianity...different side to Jesus...than what I've been exposed to...than what I've been used to.
How did he know?
How could I have been so stupid not see what he did? Not to believe him? I wonder if this has happened to anyone else.
That's the worst part- I feel like Jesus can't give me a definate answer right now...and that I can't talk to any of my friends because they just plain won't understand.
I feel like crying but I can't. I feel i'm on the edge of breaking...but I'm not. I'm being held together- which I'm sure is only by the mercy of God. I pray that he'll keep holding me together...one day at a time...because I know that's all I'll be able to take.
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I'm not sure what you mean by flying apart, but it sounds like you are being challenged by the Lord. When God is pushing me beyond my comfort zone I often feel exposed and clumsy; if not downright dumb...like I can't be what Jesus wants because I'm too flawed, but if he is a godd God, and he is, he will never push me where I can't go or try to make me fit into a mold that isn't me. HE MADE ME! Cool! Trust, trust, trust. That's what i tell myself...Hang in there dog.
AllieB
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AllieB
# posted by 
: 3:58 PM
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